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Don’t expect your baby to be doing what the experts or the baby books say she should be doing.

  • Examples of comments to ignore: “he should be sleeping through the night by now” and “she doesn’t eat enough”.
  • Don’t expect your baby to play by the rules. Babies have their own ideas and these are often different to the ideas of their parents.
  • Don’t judge or criticize your own mothering. Just do the best you can.
  • The perfect mom does not exist. Your baby doesn’t need you to be perfect. He only needs you to be good enough. You are allowed to fail him sometimes.
  • It is acceptable and even normal sometimes to experience feelings of anger, resentment and even hatred towards your baby.
  • Negative feelings towards your baby are fine as long as you don’t act out on them, that is, as long as you don’t hurt your baby or abandon him.
  • Hand your baby over to someone you trust if you are feeling as though you are reaching your limit.
  • Allow yourself some time away from your baby, as long as he is left in the care of a responsible, loving adult.
  • New moms are almost always sleep deprived and this can be psychologically and physically harmful. Do everything you can to get enough rest and sleep.
  • Take at least 3 months maternity leave. Take longer if possible.
  • Spend time with and make friends with other moms who have babies of a similar age to yours. Take support from them, but if it feels competitive, walk away and find new friends.
  • Get as much support as you can from friends and family. Use whatever support is offered to you.
  • Share your experience of being a mom with your partner. Share the parenting load with him as much as possible. Encourage him to be involved.
  • If you are single, you need extra support from friends and family.
  • See a psychotherapist or a 'Babies in Mind' practitioner if you are struggling emotionally with yourself and/or your baby during this time.
  • Be aware of the symptoms of postnatal depression and seek treatment without delay if you suspect you may be depressed.
  • Make an appointment with a psychotherapist or a 'Babies in Mind' practitioner if you are experiencing high levels of anxiety.